Start

As life has been plotting along lately, Love has been on my mind in all sorts of ways.

How do we love those we love well?  How do I make sure my stubborn daughter knows my love for her?  How do I make sure my little boy feels my love an acceptance for is uniqueness? How do I show hubs love beyond the every day type?  How do I love myself well?

This is also combined with a certain lack of action on my part.  I've felt lazy and unwilling.  There's a need within me to start, but I'm still not sure what it is I want to start.  Words evade the feelings within me, and I'm left wondering where to turn.  As I was weeding my garden yesterday, I began to consider where I invest my time.  I'm mostly proud of how I've prioritized my life in this season.  Very consciously I've been putting those I love first and setting aside the things that aren't fueling me.  This isn't foolproof and there are still places I can improve, but progress is progress.

In March, {March!  Are you kidding me!?} I wrote about the need to pursue passions.  I truly felt that pull, but I was also paralyze by the circumstances of the life I was living.  Pulling the pricker weeds had me contemplating photography again.  It does fuel me.  I enjoy it and I have a soft spot in my heart for the images of my little ones from the times I was often seen with a camera in hand. I still need to get through this frozen time for me; I'm moved to go back to that place I was in March and make a start to pursue those passions.

For the girl who hasn't picked up her camera in months, it's a commitment to knock that off.  To dust it off. To move forward and commit.  To grow and learn again.  To experiment.  To fall in love with it again.  To start.